31 Funniest Dad Jokes For All Humorous Fathers

0

Trying to determine what makes a dad joke good (or bad) is not that easy, but there are a few ingredients we can name.

First of all, the one-liner must be administered by a parent (not necessarily yours), it must be cheesy and somewhat fun, and above all it just needs to have a hackneyed pun to make it the best joke ever. Although not everyone is a huge fan of that type of golden comedy, there is a certain amount of appreciation that anyone can have for a fun and timely pun. Especially if it’s followed by the person’s thunderous laugh and the classic finger pistol pose.

Advertisement

31 Funniest Dad Jokes For All Humorous Fathers

Oh, and if you’re a fan of dad’s pranks like us, you might be surprised to know where these inappropriate pranks come from. So the first theory is because your beloved father just feels nostalgic for those moments when you were little and laughed at almost anything. The other approach to these hilarious jokes is much more anticipated: Your father wants to embarrass you as much as he can while he can. And that is precisely what these jokes are meant to do.

Scroll down to see some of Dad’s best funny jokes and don’t forget to comment and vote for your favorites.

Advertisement

# 1

Today, my son asked “Can I have a book mark?” And I started to cry. 11 years old and still don’t know my name is Brian.


# 2

My wife is really angry about the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed my things and correct.


# 3

DAD: I was listening to the radio on the way to town, an actress apparently committed suicide.

MOM: OMG! WHO!?

DAD: Uh, I can’t remember … I think his name was Reese?

MOTHER:

Advertisement

DAD: No, it was with a knife …


# 4

How do you make holy water? You boil it a lot.


# 5

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he tied them up with, but I’ve been tripping all day!


# 6

Did you know that the first french fries were not cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.


# 7

If a child refuses to sleep during a nap, are they guilty of resisting a break?


# 8

The secret service can’t yell “Down!” more when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell “Donald, duck!”


# 9

I am reading a book on antigravity. It is impossible to quit!


# 10

What do you call someone without a body and without a nose? Nobody knows.


# 11

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll make it know


# 12

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language

Advertisement

# 13

My daughter yelled, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t heard a word of what I said, have you?” What a strange way to start a conversation with me …


# 14

A slice of apple pie costs $ 2.50 in Jamaica and $ 3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the Caribbean pie rates.


#15

My wife tried to open the seat of our daughter’s car with one hand and said, “How do armed mothers do it?” Without missing a beat, I replied, “No help.”


#16

When a dad goes through a cemetery: Did you know it is a popular cemetery? Yes, people are dying to get in there!


# 17

My friend keeps saying “come on man, it could be worse, you could be trapped underground in a hole full of water”. I know you have good intentions.


# 18

Justice is a dish that is served cold, if served hot it would be water.


# 19

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. It got its size from too much pi.


# 20

MOM: “How do I look?” DAD: “With your eyes.”


# 21

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the urine is silent.


# 22

What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”

Advertisement

# 23

Spring is here! I got so excited that I wet my plants!


# 24

3 unwritten rules of life …
1.
2.
3.


# 25

If you see a robbery at an Apple store, does that make you an iWitness?


# 26

Have you heard the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. From now on, they will be called Fed-Up.


# 27

Don’t trust atoms. They invent everything!


# 28

I told my son that they named me Thomas Jefferson … He said, “But Dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but they called me AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”


# 29

BOY: “Dad, make me a sandwich!” DAD: “Poof, you’re a sandwich!”


# 30

Why did the invisible man reject the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.


# 31

SERVER: “Sorry for your wait.” DAD: “Are you saying I’m fat?”

Advertisement

Leave A Reply