It is time to toss away negative people, thoughts and habits, you cling to, for a better future. It is not just clutter and mess that can weigh you down.
If something does not spark joy in you then let it go, seems to be the most prominent quote from the past year, thanks to organizational wizard Marie Kondo and her trademark “less is better” philosophy of life.
Her motto may be focused on the physical aspects but the words certainly apply to who we are: our careers, friendships, and relationships. The more baggage you lose, the more space you create for new opportunities that create joy. A change of seasons can rejuvenate and cleanse the people and patterns that do not serve you. So strap in to “Marie Kondo” your life, starting with these 3 kinds of downers you need to get rid of;
You never waste time with anyone who makes you feel bad, right? But people develop friendships that don’t help them entirely, say therapists. Some people may seem nice and fun at first, but eventually becomes an energy blackhole. You feel tired, insecure, or just simply anxious during or after you meet these people, or perpetually walk on eggshells. A “friend” can fall into the toxic category if you are confused by their behaviour, or if giving more than you are receiving. But the guilt is real and for your sanity, you may block them from all forms of communication. If you value their friendship, try voicing out how you feel. Still no change, then time to part ways. Accept that you might not separate amicably, as you cannot control their reaction. If you have mutual friends or work together, then phase them out gently from your emotional circle by not sharing vulnerable information anymore.
The ‘Cool Girl’ is the lady who is self aware, confident, and she’s able to get what she expects from her partner. Sure, that’s easier said than done, especially with more at stake. People put off difficult talks as they don’t want to push their partner, when actually they wish to escape criticism for jeopardising relationships. We bury who we are and what we want, just to be accepted by the people around us. Not at all fine. Before you open up about what you need, you must define them. Write down what you want but were afraid to ask for and why you feel that way. Then articulate your feelings. If they do not hear you out or will not compromise, the person isn’t right for you or both must work together for constructive discussions about compromise.
AN ALWAYS-AVAILABLE MENTALITY
In an increasingly inter-connected world, the fastest method to secure more joys out of your worktime, is to keep them truly separate by laying down some hard rules. Your colleagues must know when you can be reached and when you cannot be available and stick to those timings by setting up the do-not-disturb feature on your email—before 8 a.m. and after 6 p.m., or on weekends. You could block off time during workdays to focus on important tasks, and let co-workers know. By setting boundaries at work, you mitigate resentment and fight burnout. Abandoning the 24/7 mind-set makes you more productive in the office and happier. Let notifications pass by, and re-focus attention on the tasks at hand. The problem will still remain after an hour, when you can actually devote time to it.